Overload
by Quezacolt
Summary: They said she would get over it. They lied.


Overload.

They told her she would get over it. They lied.

A/N: Implied missing scenes for Divide and Conquer.

Four hundred years was a long time. It was a long time to be in love with another person and it was a long time to live, knowing one day, you would have to let that person go. Samantha Carter knew for a fact she hadn't lived for the hundreds of years she could remember being alive, she knew the undying love she felt for the man lying in her arms, dead, wasn't hers, but she still felt her heart tug, as Anise turned to her, eyes full of tears, her best friend, dead, and told her his death was a noble sacrifice. Inside, it felt like part of her had died, around her, people had begun light, tight chatter. It was as if this man, who was lying her his own blood, covering her BDU's in painted red was non-existent. How could they be so without heart? Her mouth is moving, like a goldfish out of water. Suddenly hands are on her shoulders and the burning pain and empty nothingness is gone, replaced by burning anger and fiery rage.

"Let go Sam." Came Colonel O'Neill's voice. She couldn't believe him. His eyes we're looking at her strangely, she could read his emotions easily. He was trying to figure out whether he was talking to Sam Carter, or Jolinar.

He tried to pry her hands from his cold dead body, but she refused to budge. Her hands we're clamped in a death grip, despite the pun. He threw her a look of concern and looked up at someone with shiny black office shoes, Daniel most likely, before another two figures joined her.

"Sam," Came Daniel's light voice, as Teal'c hands appeared, holding her own, "You have to let go. They need to take the body."

How could they call it a body? Had Martouf's life meant nothing at all? She held on only tighter, as Teal'c tried his hand and prying away her grip.

"Sam, look at me." He forced her to look into his chocolate brown eyes. "The Tok'ra need to take him."

Why? Why did they need his body? So they could cut into it, dissecting him for medical research? No. She wasn't going to let them. He was her love. For four hundred years.

"No." She said hoarsely, "I won't let you." She gripped him tighter. His blood had begun to stain the cement, and she could see people had begun to become uncomfortable, moving away out of the embarkation room. But several remained, and they continued to stare. It infuriated her. Didn't they have better things to do then stand and watch her?

Apparently not.

"No." She said coldly, "You can't have him." Daniel sighed, Teal'c remained stoic, but his eyebrow twitched and she knew it was because he was upset at seeing her so…what? Vulnerable? Terrified? Sad? Most likely all of the above. O'Neill stared, his eyes breaking.

"Sam," He tried, "Martouf has to go. I'm sorry." There. Those words. I'm Sorry. How many times had she heard them in her career? I'm sorry. I'm sorry your dead Martouf. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I didn't know you we're a zay'tarc. I'm sorry I had to be the one who killed you. I'm sorry I'm not Jolinar.

She stared at his face. It was peaceful looking. If he hadn't been cold and covered in blood, he may have simply looked asleep. She sighed. It should have been her. She should have noticed he was different. She should have run faster, if only to save him from himself.

The silence was thick now. She had gone from mourning to desperate. She was his only love. Samantha Carter wasn't alone anymore. She was sharing her body with Jolinar. The symbiote may have long passed away, but her mind was imprinted on Sam's own. Who's to say she wasn't alive? Whose to say Sam was the only occupant of her body? She could still remember when the entity had entered her body, confused to mind not one consciousness, but two. There was only one person alive; only one person who thought, but it was like the outer shell of Samantha Carter's brain was of another. Another person who may be non-existent, but still influenced the human's thoughts.

.:FLASHBACK:.

"_What is this? What are you?" Was the only thing the entity asked as it continued it's rampage through her mind. _

_Sam Carter, although not in control of her body fought out against the entity. It was re-writing her brain, she could already feel certain things we're lost to her. What had she needed to buy from the supermarket on her trip home? It was gone. What was her latest idea? She couldn't remember. They had been erased. This frightened her more then anything, but now she was in her mind only, she had to admit, it was interesting. No one had taken 'looking to the inside' so far._

_She could access Jolinar so much more easily from here; it was like a wall had broken. She could hear thoughts; thoughts she knew didn't exist, but thoughts her own mind had made in echo of Jolinar and who she had been._

"_What are you?" She asked quickly in return. _

'_This creature was not born.' Came a voice, totally unknown to Sam. If she could have, she would have frowned in confusion. Somehow, she knew it was Jolinar. Who else could it be? Jolinar was protecting her, giving her strength to fight against the entity. It was as if the entity had accidentally erased the piece of her mind that kept both of their minds separated. And so it became three. _

_.:END FLASHBACK:._

"Sam." Came Jack's voice again, "come on, you can't hold onto him forever."

Then suddenly it came forth. The anger, the betrayal. How could Martouf leave her like this? Sam Carter had stepped back and let the memories of Jolinar take over.

Her roar of rage, despair and pain echoed through the corridor. People looked at her in surprise, but Sam wasn't the one who cried, sobbing into his dead body. He was gone. He had left her. Daniel was staring at her in shock and it took her a minute to realize she had begun to speak Gou'ald, a language she presently wasn't able to speak. Anise had kneeled beside her, staring at her in concentration, Teal'c had discreetly reached for his zat, not afraid to knock her unconscious should he become afraid she was going to hurt herself.

"It's a right of passage." She heard Daniel mutter in concentration. Anise nodded, as Sam continued to speak, voice monotone by the memories.

"It is an old Tok'ra tradition for warriors who have fallen in battle. Jolinar? Jolinar of Malksure?" She was looking into Sam's eyes now, and in turn, the soldier cocked her head to the side.

Her eyes said everything. Jack winced slightly at the cold despair reflected from them, as his 2IC, without a change in expression, slumped to her side, unconscious.

When she woke, she was in the infirmary. At her side, a fiddling Jack O'Neill sat, staring at his fingertips. Sam groaned, her head pounding. His head shot up to look at her as he climbed to his feet and he smiled, almost nervously.

"Hey Carter. Nice nap?"

Sam groaned again, bringing a hand up against the intrusive white light.

"What happened?"

He seemed relieved to hear her speak, and sat down beside her, his fingers absently fiddling with her fingers.

"Ah, you know. You went a little Gou'ald-ish there. You had us all scared there for a few minutes. You even had Frasier worried. Something about a massive shock overload to the brain or something. She's not happy. She caught us trying to sneak in some cake earlier."

Sam smiled wanly as Jack O'Neill's face cracked into a grin.

Yeah, four hundred was a long time.

But whose to say love doesn't last longer?

After all, people die. But true love is forever.


End file.
